Learning 06 : Strategies to handle indisciplined ...

 

• Stay Calm and Neutral: Avoid shouting, losing your temper, or showing extreme frustration. Treat rules and consequences like a business transaction rather than an emotional battle. [1, 2, 3]
• Set Clear, Firm Limits: Establish unambiguous rules and state "no" firmly when necessary. Do not cave in to tantrums, whining, or arguments. [1, 2, 3]
• Stop Enabling and Make It Uncomfortable: Stop immediately fulfilling every demand or buying things to appease them. Make them work, save, or earn privileges (like phones, tech, or extra items) through household chores or good behavior. [1, 2, 3]
• Enforce Consistent Consequences: Follow through every single time a rule is broken. Use logical or action-based consequences (such as cleaning up or losing screen time) rather than harsh physical punishment or public shaming. [1, 2, 3]
• Separate the Child from the Behavior: Address the specific action (e.g., "That behavior is unacceptable") rather than labeling the child as a "brat," which can cause them to live up to the negative label. [1]
• Teach Emotional Regulation and Gratitude: Help them name their feelings, point out ungrateful or entitled remarks gently, and model patience and gratitude yourself. [1, 2]

Learnings 05

   One of the disciples of Krishna, the then Emperor of India, was driven from his kingdom by his enemies and had to take shelter with his queen, in a forest in the Himalayas, and there one day the queen asked him how it was that he, the most virtuous of men, should suffer so much misery. Yudhishthira answered, ‘Behold, my queen, the Himalayas, how grand and beautiful they are; I love them. They do not give me anything, but my nature is to love the grand, the beautiful, therefore I love them. Similarly, I love the Lord. He is the source of all beauty, of all sublimity. He is the only object to be loved; my nature is to love Him, and therefore I love. I do not pray for anything; I do not ask for anything. Let Him place me wherever He likes. I must love Him for love’s sake. I cannot trade in love.’

Learnings 04 -Sumblimating the Ego by Google Gemini

 मानसिक विज्ञान (Psychology) में ego को sublimate करने (अहंकार का उदात्तीकरण) का अर्थ है—अपने भीतर की किसी अस्वीकार्यता, दबी हुई ऊर्जा, या नकारात्मक भावना (जैसे गुस्सा, आक्रामकता या कामुकता) को बिना नुकसान पहुँचाए, किसी सकारात्मक, रचनात्मक और सामाजिक रूप से स्वीकार्य काम में बदल देना। [1, 2]

यह मनोविज्ञान के जनक सिग्मंड फ्रायड (Sigmund Freud) द्वारा बताई गई एक 'मैच्योर डिफ़ेंस मैकेनिज्म' (Mature Defense Mechanism) है। [1, 2]

यह कैसे काम करता है?

ईगो (Ego) की भूमिका: ईगो आपके भीतर की आदिम इच्छाओं (Id) और सामाजिक नियमों/नैतिकता (Superego) के बीच संतुलन बनाता है।
ऊर्जा का दिशा-बदलाव: जब आपको बहुत तेज गुस्सा आए या कोई अनुचित भावना उठे, तो ईगो उसे दबाने (Repress) के बजाय उस ऊर्जा को किसी उपयोगी कार्य में लगा देता है। [1, 2, 3, 4]

रोजमर्रा के उदाहरण

गुस्से को चैनल करना: यदि आपको बहुत अधिक गुस्सा आता है, तो आप उसे किसी से लड़ने में इस्तेमाल करने के बजाय जिम जाने, बॉक्सिंग करने, या घर की गहरी सफाई करने में लगा देते हैं।
तनाव या दुख को रचनात्मक बनाना: कोई व्यक्ति दिल टूटने या गहरे दुख को कविता लिखने, पेंटिंग करने, संगीत बनाने, या लेखन में बदल देता है।
सामाजिक कार्य: आक्रामक या बहुत ज्यादा ऊर्जावान प्रवृत्ति को खेल-कूद (Sports), नेतृत्व (Leadership), या समाज सेवा की ओर मोड़ दिया जाता है। [1, 2, 3, 4, 5]

Learnings 03

1. Say, I am courageous

2. When there are negativities in life, add a lot of positive things to dilute negativity. 

Learnings 02

 1. Chanchal mann (mind) is the root cause of all sorrow. 

2. Learn to tame the 'mann (mind)' to live with 'Aman and Chain' 

3. When you act, find why you are doing this, is it due to some of your weaknesses like anger, jealousy, etc? If it's so, its not probably the best course. 

मन गोरख मन गोविन्दौ, मन ही औघड़ होइ।
जे मन राखैं जतनकरि, तौ आपैं करता सोइ॥१०॥

संदर्भ―मन को वश मे करने पर ही उच्चतम स्थान मिलता है।

भावार्थ―मन ही गोरखनाथ है मन हो पर ब्रह्म है और मन ही औघड़ नाथ है। मन ही इन पदों पर पहुँचाने वाला है। यदि मन प्रयत्न-पूर्वक वश में रखा जाये तो यही इस चराचर लोक का कर्ता, नियामक ब्रह्म बन सकता है

Learnings 01

 1. Approach someone by first knowing yourself. You will know others automatically. If you are honest then you will know if someone is corrupt. You are empathetic , then you know someone is cruel.

2.  Start doing now. 

3. Be  open to the  maximum pain that can be inflicted upon you. No pain , no gain. Be open for physical , mental and psychological pain. Then you will learn . It will open doors for innovative things in your life. 

4. Increase maximum knowledge. 

5. Learn to say NO without guilt. 

6. Always do what you think is right. This is the only way to be decisive. 

7. Relax sometimes and have fun. 

8. Write a good piece for yourself , not for others, money or something materialistic. 

9. There is one thing which you need to re learn (points mentioned in other blog entries)- Allow others to stay the way as they are. This will save you from being crackhead !! 

10. Pay attention to every thing you do. When you talk pay attention to other person; when you study , study with full attention; when you review, pay attention to each details. This will save relationship, career and finance. 

It is called Sati or mindfulness in Buddhist philosophy. 'Right attention' is one of the 8 fold paths that Buddha philosophy teach. 

Students should be taught to read slowly, sit with ambiguity and listen without interrupting. A mind that is concentrate can find peace and mind that is not, can never find peace. 

Madhyam marg

 According to Buddha Madhyam marg is the best course to take, if you are stumbled to decide on the spot.

Some of the Madhyam Marg decisions were :-

1. IIT Kanpur +metallurgical engineering 

2. Tata Steel + UPSC 

3. BPSC +MO

4. There + here 

5. 8+ Y

6. EGG + WHITE

7. 1 + 6